The word friend is very comforting. Friendship is a bond that draws people together as well as pushes them apart. Its pull is so strong that even one’s dearest life can be given for a friend’s need. But the question remains Is it haram to be friends with the opposite gender?
Because one can achieve one’s own goals by deceiving a friend in a very beautiful way, even taking his cheap life. A friend is an attractive thing that is very mysterious. Friendship is a sacred relationship that consists of mutual dependence, cooperation, and love at the same time.
Opposite gender friendship in Islam
There are words like just friend, good friend, and best friend. The words are often heard among friends. This is my best friend. There are many types of friendships in society. Some have class friends, some are just friends or best friends.
Islam has forbidden the friendship developed between boys and girls which is common in society. A man can’t have intercourse with all women except 14 women and for a woman to meet all men except 14 men at the same time.
Because, of a relationship called friendship, it slowly turns into a relationship of infidelity. Even adultery happens. It is said in the Holy Quran- “(O Messenger of Allah) tells the believers to lower their gaze and guard their genitals. Tell the believing women to keep their gaze restrained and humble and to guard their sexual organs. – Surah An-Nur. (Verses 30-31)
Is it haram to be friends with the opposite gender?
Yes, it’s haram to be friends with the opposite gender. It is clearly understood from the Quran and Hadith that a man should be friends with another man and a woman with another woman. Just a friend, good friend, and best friend relationship with someone of the opposite sex or outside of Muharram is absolutely haram.
- The hadith says, “Cursed are both those who show and see the private parts. The first and initial cause of lust is looking and seeing and the final result is adultery.” (Tabarani)
- Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “Vision is a poisonous poison of Satan.” (Ma’ariful Qur’an in Tafseer).
- Umar (R.A.) narrated that the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said, “Whenever a man meets a woman in private (in a quiet environment), the third of them is Ibshis.” (Jamee Tirmidhi).
The evil of friendship with the opposite sex
Relationships that start as friendship often turn into adultery. First friendship, then talking on the phone, then going to campus or a restaurant or a park to sit side by side or walk holding hands and talk.
Then there may be various conditions. In short, every action that takes place in a boy-girl friendship relationship is adultery according to Hadith Sharif.
Abu Huraira (R.A.) narrates about this, the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: The zina of the eyes is – seeing; The tongue being the Jina – speech, the heart desires and excites, and the genitals either implement it or not.”
In Sahih Muslim, there is- “Zina of two eyes is seeing, Zina of two ears is hearing, Zina of the tongue is speaking, Zina of hands is holding, Zina of feet is walking, heart desires, And the genitalia either implements it or it doesn’t. “
Ibn Battal (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “Sight and speech are said to be zina because they are the inviters of real zina. That is why the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Sex either fulfills it or it does not.” (Fathul Bari)
Why is friendship with the opposite gender forbidden?
Stay away from friendship and looking at a foreign woman is forbidden. It is said in the Hadith Sharif – according to the Hadith narrated by Muslim Sharif from Hazrat Zarir Ibn Abdullah Bajali – if you suddenly look at a foreign woman without intention, turn your gaze away from her.
According to the Hadith narrated by Ali (R.A.): The first glance is forgiveness and the second glance is sin. A sudden and unintentional glance is excusable. This proves that the hadith about the veil says in such a strong language that no foreign woman should be looked at more than once. So relationships called just, good, and best friends are haram.
Who can be friends with?
Since friendship is a good thing, be friends with good people. There are clear instructions in the Quran and Hadith Sharif regarding the choice of friends.
Allah says in the Holy Qur’an – “Believing people will never make friends of disbelievers instead of believers.” If any of you does that, he will have no relationship with Allah.” (Surah Al-Imran: 28)
This verse means that we will accept as friends a person who is faithful, pious, truthful, virtuous, accustomed to doing good, and upright. Since we cannot live without friends, we must be very careful in accepting friends.
The Holy Prophet (PBUH) said about this, “Man is influenced by the religion of his friend. So let each one of you consider whom he takes as a friend. (Tirmidhi)
